Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
