You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
