So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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