if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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