arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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