I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
