How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Alive.
So much puke
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
