Just cropdusted the office
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
