I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
