she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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