Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
