How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
