So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
