I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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