There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
