My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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