How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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