Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize