I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
