if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
