I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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