Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
