he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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