did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
