You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
