Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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