Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize