Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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