Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
