I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
how drunk are you?
Several
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
