I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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