Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
