I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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