Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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