This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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