I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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