you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
