So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
