i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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