great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
