ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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