Are we in a gay sports bar?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
