This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
