we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
