The maid of honor just puked.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
