When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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