i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
