Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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