If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
