Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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