the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
