You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize