what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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