the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
