just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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