and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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