My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
