walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
